Why I Thought I Was Supposed to Fix Things When My Narcissistic Mother Played Victim
Since my mother was a covert narcissist victim was a favorite role for her.
Before I get into my belief that I was supposed to fix things, I should provide some basic explanation about narcissists, particularly coverts.
1. Narcissists need huge amounts of attention in order to live. This is true whether they are overt/grandiose or covert/vulnerable. All narcissists must have constant attention to maintain the fake self they have created to hide their true self. Their need is so strong that they fear without adequate attention their fake self will die and their true self will be revealed which would be worse than death. Their mental and physical reaction when they do not receive the amount of attention they think they need is like the cravings an addict experiences when they are in withdrawal.
2. Covert narcissists include in the fake self they create an appearance of goodness. They have learned enough about society to understand that being overt about their greatness is contradictory to the goodness they are trying to make believable. They must find other ways to get the necessary attention and being a victim does that without conflicting with their fake good self image. As a matter of fact being a victim actually increases the amount of attention…
