Beware Of The Flying Monkey Mediator From The Narcissist

Be very careful if you are dealing with someone who is trying to be a mediator between you and a narcissist, especially if that person has a history of being a Flying Monkey to the narcissist or is a narcissist his/her self.

Have you ever had a blow up with a narcissist and someone in the same circle as you and the narcissist (family, workplace, group, etc.) came forward to be a mediator between you and the narcissist? If you have been in a relationship with a narcissist this has most likely happened because:

1. Blow ups are inevitable in a relationship with a narcissist

2. There is always someone in the circle who wants to be a mediator or who the narcissist trusts to act on their behalf. Often both characteristics exist in the same person.

There are a lot of problems and pitfalls in dealing with a mediator after a blowup with a narcissist. In part these problems exist because of the motives and abilities of the mediator. But there is a larger problem with mediation because when a narcissist is involved the situation cannot be normal. If the situation is not normal then mediation is not possible since the intent of mediating is to intervene and conciliate. Narcissists do not tolerate intervention and they have no need or desire for conciliation — they want a win and they…